I try, and I try…

So here I am sitting at the computer about to talk about my roommates, and it dawns on me…I really haven’t talked about myself, and how I am as a roommate.  So for this blog post I will let the reader know how wonderful of a roommate I am (basically the ideal roommate). 

Everyday I wake up at 6:15 in the morning and let my roommates dogs outside.  If I notice that they have taken a poo I will go outside and clean it up and dispose of it properly.  Next I will go inside and start making breakfast for the entire house.  I usually make a little extra in-case any young ladies have stayed the night, and if not I take breakfast to our neighbors.  I am very up-to-date with current food allergies and take them into consideration while I prepare the most important meal of the day.  While making breakfast, before everyone wakes up, I also make a brown paper bag lunch for everyone complete with all the major food groups.  I pack the lunches and write their names on them so that they can easily grab them before they leave the house for the day.  Next I lay out the smorgasbord of succulent breakfast items on the table and get ready to go to class.  I usually am ready and out of the house before anyone wakes up and leave the delicious spread on the table in hopes that the aroma will wake my fellow housemates up. 

When I get back from school the dishes are usually piled up from breakfast and from my unemployed non-student roommate who has spent the whole day at the home.  Before I do anything I ask my the individuals that reside in our house what they would like for dinner, and I make a shopping list of goodies to be eaten later that night.  I do the dishes and then go do the shopping before I have anytime to myself.   

I finally have time to myself after the shopping and decide to do my homework which I frantically try to finish, without any regard as to weather or not it is right, because I know that my roommate, that has spent all day at school will be home soon, will be expecting a delicious dinner prepared for him on the table. 

After dinner is prepared we all sit down for a nice family meal and talk about our day.  This usually goes splendidly, because I love not talking about myself. 

Dinner is finished and I take the dishes into the kitchen and put on my yellow gloves and prepare to do the one thing that I absolutely love doing, my favorite activity…the dishes.  I love doing the dishes.  It is so fun to clean the plates and utensils that my roommates have eaten on.  It is truly an honor.  I thank them everyday for this honor.

Finally it is time to turn it in for the night.  I do one last sweep of the house with my vacuum before I put on my night gown.  I wish my roommates a good nights sleep, smoke a little meth, and rest my head on my pillow.

This is my life.  My chosen life.  I could not ask for anything else.  Thank You roommates for all you have done for me.  Live long and prosper.

-Stuart.

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2 responses to “I try, and I try…

  1. Wow, all I can say is wow. You are so wonderful, if you ever feel like moving out please do let me know. I would love to have the perfect roommate. I can’t imagine your day. Good thing you wind down with some serious drugs at night.

  2. My goodness you really do sound like the perfect roommate. If you ever wanna come clean up my house please feel free. I’m sure breakfast was wonderful this morning. One can only hope that the dishes are waiting patiently in the sink for you as you sit here in class with the rest of us

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